Had  Easter dinner at granny's house was great.  It was really good to see family and of course the food was awesome~ I got to talk with my cousin Lenny , who normally I only get to talk with on facebook... nice to talk in person from time to time.     Home to spend the evening , whats left of it, with my hubby and the kids.


Happy  Easter to anyone and everyone who may stumble upon my little blog

whats on my mind...

Easter: did I buy enough candy? will my daughter be happy with what she gets?  I really wanted to buy a ham but couldn't afford one ...the vehicles needed gas..so they won again.

Work tomorrow:  OMG  I dont' want to work , as badly as I need the hours I'm hoping to get done early .  I'm awake late and I know I will not want to talk on the phone with customers..." thank you for calling ********* I'm very tired today so lets make this quick lady"


Cyber school: Enrolling my daughter in cyber school.  I've been reading everything I can about it and listening to Opions of others > I feel my daughter will do much better with her school work if we try the cyber school.  I've gotten alot of mixed comments thou...but my mom says I should do what I feel is right for my daughter and not worry about what others may say.

Gas/broke me:   gas prices wont' stop going up and my checkbook wont' stop going down.  Tired of both , I want gas in my car to run my ass off and I want money in my account to make my ass happy :)

I'm sure  there are alot of other things on my mind.. but that was the short list..  and maybe I should sleep some tonight .

Lunch date with an awesome man!!

Today was an awesome day!!  My hubby and I had a lunch date planned originally for Red Lobster But after I found out they were not having the All you can eat shrimp deal, I decided I didn't really want to eat there.  So my great awesome hubby says " We can just pay for our drinks and go somewhere else if you like."   Wow Right?   So after thinking about it a few minutes I decided I did want to go elsewhere..in fact I wanted to go Olive Garden.  See I had this $10 gift card that could be used at either place so those were my picks.  Anyway back to my great guy and our lunch date.  When we told our waiter that we were just going to pay for our drinks and leave, He told us he wasn't charging us for them. Oh this day was getting better by the minute. We were now on our way to Olive Garden which was only a 45 minute drive.  Omg what a trip thou, on the way we saw several bad drivers and oddities. Of course there were several people driving while on the cell phone but also others that were driving so wreckless. The one lady kept swerving to the center white line and I really thought she was on a cell phone but no she was just trying to be cool and drive with one hand and stiff armed just was not skilled enough. Oh lets not forget about the big mac truck that had an accident at the red light, seems his Load was not properly secured so his Load blew ...opps i meant flew into the back of his cab leaving him with a big sticky mess. Firetrucks and police were on the scene trying to help him clean up and get his juices flowing again ..oh jeez i mean to get his motor running again.   On down the road we passed a lady reading papers while trying to drive...yeah she was freaking spooky.  I just kept saying "What the hell is wrong with drivers today?!!"  All we wanted to do was make it the Olive Garden..sheesh was that too much to ask , but instead were stuck on the road with a bunch of idiots.  Then an ambulance was coming up behind us ..peachy just freaking peachy! We moved over into the other lane so it could go around us but just as it passed us , the damn driver cut us off swerving back into our lane and slamming on his brakes . OMG we just about slammed into him.  Oh but wait there's more.. he then got back into the passing lane , slows down and makes a left hand turn ..then turns his emergency lights off.  OK thats just fucked up ..Right?!! Finally we had an opening and traffic and got away from all the idoits.


We arrived at Olive Garden at about lunch but the place was packed.  Damn 15 mintue wait to be seated.  So we had time to kill and decided to have a drink at the bar.  He had a corona and I had a strawberry Daiquiri with whipped cream on top..Yum! While we waited we talked and just enjoyed each other in the crowded restraunt.  Time seemed to fly by and soon we were seated at our table.  I ordered Shrimp caprese , which is grilled shrimp ,angel hair pasta with cheese and tomatoes in it. Very Very good!  The couple sitting next to us gave us a coupon for $5 off two dinners since they got soup and couldn't use it anyway.  Wow this was great thou now I had my $10 gift card and this $5 off!!! Awesome I love saving money!  I couldn't believe we only ended up paying $21 bux at Olive garden..thats a rare thing.  It was time to go back home thou and to the reality of being parents.

We took the country roads ,listened to music and just talked. It was relaxing.  After I got home thou , my evening was busy as usual. I picked my daughter up at school , drove to the store and to pick up pizza for dinner..took one kid to the denist at 5 ..home in time to take the other to girl scouts and be stuck there for the whole meeting since the roads were gettting bad bc of the snow.  Relax time was over when my damn headache came back that I've had for days now.  I tried napping a bit but didnt' help.   After the kids were in bed hubby and I watched a movie. If I'm lucky the kids won't have school tomorrow and I won't have to wake up early.

Cloud Palace

On a cloud,  high in the sky ,  way way out in the distance ...that's where I want to hide.
So very high above this world that brings me down faster than any bird can soar.

A place where no one can find me ...the clouds will hide me so perfectly.
A place where no one could touch me...just beyond anyone's reach.
A place where no one could hurt me...the clouds shield me so perfectly.
A place where only happiness exist...its nothing like this horrific reality.

In the sky there must be a palace, just waiting to be found . A magical kingdom , hidden just behind those clouds all for me.  

A place so amazing and beautiful ...more peaceful than any place I've ever seen.
A place  so full of laughter and love...and home to over a million doves.
A place where all  hopes and dreams come true...one by one wishes are granted .

Living in the sky , at this awesome cloud palace is definitely the greatest  and where I  wish to be laid to rest.  No wooden box six feet under for me .. no that just won't do.  A haven in the sky ..my palace on a cloud, is where I belong  and desire to be.   Set me free, let me dream but please don't come looking for me...

So this is Christmas....

So its that time of year again ..Christmas.  Thou it doesn't feel like Christmas in my heart.  I truly feel like I can not find this Christmas spirt that people speak so highly of.  Once a upon a time , I was a child that had the bright glimmer in my eyes at the mere mention of the word but over the years the glimmer has dimmed so much , so much that's its nearly impossible to see.   I don't feel happiness, love or peace ..to say the least its an empty feeling.   A feeling that I really can not explain , a feeling that I can't begin to make the world understand.   Its like the song 'Numb' " I've become so numb that i can't feel you there"...

I'd really love to have that Joy in my heart . Walk around singing and humming  all  the wonderful Christmas songs  all day long.     I have a little girl that loves Christmas and tells me how she has joy in her heart.  She desperately tries to help me find my joy and be as happy as she is.   Christmas is but a week away ..I just pray that  I can find the Joy and share it with her before this season passes.   My baby girl deserves all the happiness in the world and a mother that shines as bright as that love in her eyes. 

 Sweetheart , baby girl , child of mine ...If  I do nothing else , I promise you I will find that Christmas Joy before Christmas morning. 

To whomever it may concern : Wish me luck , give me hope , help me find this joy , happiness , love for Christmas and life.

Thankful!

Thankful!

So its that time of year again....Time to be thankful for all that I have.   I am thankful for alot of things in my life but lately I feel like I'm not appreciated by my family and by family I mean the ones I live with.  So before I start griping and complaining , I'll tell all the things I am important for in no particular order. 

I am thankful for first for my parents, without them I wouldn't be the person I am today.  Thanks mom and dad for loving me, teaching me right from wrong , holding my hand when I was a small child  , drying my eyes when I skinned my knees , letting me crying on your shoulders when life knocked me down and thanks for helping me find the strength to go on , never giving up.  One thing that can not go unsaid...I am very grateful to have my dad in my life , thankful god and the doctors helped him to get better and be here with us.   I am also very thankful for the relationship I have with my mom.  She always been like a best friend to me.

I am thankful for my brothers...even when they are annoying. I wouldn't know what to do without them. Love both of you so very much!! <3

I am thankful for my family at home, my husband, my sweetheart (daughter) and my step kids.  We've  been Thur alot together over the years but there's nothing fate can throw at us that we can not handle.
I am thankful that the kids have such an amazing dad. They can come to him with anything.  I am so very thankful for my daughter ..she makes me smile when nothing else can.  Love you sweetheart , you are mommy's world.

I am thankful for the house that we live in and roof over our heads.  ( thou I do pray the contractors fix our roof soon) . I'm so glad we  live in a nice neighborhood and have good neighbors.

I am thankful for my work at home job and that I never have to drive in the snow to go work. Its also great that I never need a babysitter, the kids occupy themselves while I work. 

I am so very glad and grateful that all of my kids are healthy.
I'm sure there are many more things I am thankful for..just can't put them all into words tonight.

Lastly...I do wish I felt appreciated. I am Mom , wife , taxi cab driver , cook, maid, secretary , and if your a mother you know exactly what I mean. I just feel like I keep doing, keep giving and I rarely hear thank you.