So its that time of year again ..Christmas. Thou it doesn't feel like Christmas in my heart. I truly feel like I can not find this Christmas spirt that people speak so highly of. Once a upon a time , I was a child that had the bright glimmer in my eyes at the mere mention of the word but over the years the glimmer has dimmed so much , so much that's its nearly impossible to see. I don't feel happiness, love or peace ..to say the least its an empty feeling. A feeling that I really can not explain , a feeling that I can't begin to make the world understand. Its like the song 'Numb' " I've become so numb that i can't feel you there"...
I'd really love to have that Joy in my heart . Walk around singing and humming all the wonderful Christmas songs all day long. I have a little girl that loves Christmas and tells me how she has joy in her heart. She desperately tries to help me find my joy and be as happy as she is. Christmas is but a week away ..I just pray that I can find the Joy and share it with her before this season passes. My baby girl deserves all the happiness in the world and a mother that shines as bright as that love in her eyes.
Sweetheart , baby girl , child of mine ...If I do nothing else , I promise you I will find that Christmas Joy before Christmas morning.
To whomever it may concern : Wish me luck , give me hope , help me find this joy , happiness , love for Christmas and life.
