Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Year's ending...
So it's been quite the year. Full of surprises, laughter, disappointments, hard times, and tears, to say the least its been one hell of a year.
Moments that you wished could last forever , flew by quicker than a blink
Moments that you just wanted to end, seemed to last an eternity
Moments that you'll never get back, gone, vanished without a trace. Lost are the memories that we can never replace
Moments of sadness, seemed to linger in the wind. Forcing us to relive them over and over again.
Moments of weakness, hovered over us, holding us to the ground. Feeling like the weight of the world was upon us.
Moments of rage, days where we could only see red, and walked around with a dark cloud above our head. Wishing we could just go back to bed.
Moments of laughter that seemed to plaster a smile on our faces the whole day Thur, was just a passing phase we knew it was too good to be true.
Moments that I thought I'd surely die without you, memories held me and carried me Through
Moments that I wanted to run screaming but stayed and battled through the war
Moments that I felt hate and fear down to my very core and thought I could not take anymore
Moments when the darkness consumed me , taken over me and was all that I could see until a small flicker of light shimmered at the end of the tunnel.
At last the moment has come , a hopeful feeling washes over me as a new year awaits....fate please let this year be a good one.....
Moments that you wished could last forever , flew by quicker than a blink
Moments that you just wanted to end, seemed to last an eternity
Moments that you'll never get back, gone, vanished without a trace. Lost are the memories that we can never replace
Moments of sadness, seemed to linger in the wind. Forcing us to relive them over and over again.
Moments of weakness, hovered over us, holding us to the ground. Feeling like the weight of the world was upon us.
Moments of rage, days where we could only see red, and walked around with a dark cloud above our head. Wishing we could just go back to bed.
Moments of laughter that seemed to plaster a smile on our faces the whole day Thur, was just a passing phase we knew it was too good to be true.
Moments that I thought I'd surely die without you, memories held me and carried me Through
Moments that I wanted to run screaming but stayed and battled through the war
Moments that I felt hate and fear down to my very core and thought I could not take anymore
Moments when the darkness consumed me , taken over me and was all that I could see until a small flicker of light shimmered at the end of the tunnel.
At last the moment has come , a hopeful feeling washes over me as a new year awaits....fate please let this year be a good one.....
Sunday, December 20, 2009
My Christmas miracle!
So If you read my last post , I truly believed that there would be no Christmas here but that just was not to be. Thanks to the grandmothers and the mortgage company...Christmas was saved.
Just when I was about to give up all hope and tell my daughter that Santa didn't exist and break her little heart, a wave of good news washed in. It started with breakfast with my mom. We were having the greatest time just talking and of course the subject of Christmas came up. Being the awesome mom that she is, she already knew that things were tight and we didn't have much of a Christmas planned this year. So she tells me, "I had some money put aside for you , its not much but it should help out." Aww I wanted to cry! She's the best mom ever. Of course I tried to tell her no but she wouldn't' listen. I hugged her and thanked her! Right away I began to get my Christmas spirt back and a huge feeling of relief came over me.
Later I came home to tell hubby the great news and he had great news for me too. His mother called him to tell him she had money for the kids and us. Wow , just awesome!! Everything was working out for us. I finally had a reason to be happy for the season and enjoy it .
(drum roll please).. lets not forget the mortgage company. The very next day I decided to check the mail on my break from work, which I never do. OMG! I was so shocked when I opened a letter from our mortgage company, It seems there was an overpayment throughout the year and they were mailing us the difference. This was fantastic and now I was sure that this year would turn out just right. So far everything has. The Christmas tree is done, shopping finished and snow on the ground. What else could I ask for?
Its true miracles really can come true!!!
Just when I was about to give up all hope and tell my daughter that Santa didn't exist and break her little heart, a wave of good news washed in. It started with breakfast with my mom. We were having the greatest time just talking and of course the subject of Christmas came up. Being the awesome mom that she is, she already knew that things were tight and we didn't have much of a Christmas planned this year. So she tells me, "I had some money put aside for you , its not much but it should help out." Aww I wanted to cry! She's the best mom ever. Of course I tried to tell her no but she wouldn't' listen. I hugged her and thanked her! Right away I began to get my Christmas spirt back and a huge feeling of relief came over me.
Later I came home to tell hubby the great news and he had great news for me too. His mother called him to tell him she had money for the kids and us. Wow , just awesome!! Everything was working out for us. I finally had a reason to be happy for the season and enjoy it .
(drum roll please).. lets not forget the mortgage company. The very next day I decided to check the mail on my break from work, which I never do. OMG! I was so shocked when I opened a letter from our mortgage company, It seems there was an overpayment throughout the year and they were mailing us the difference. This was fantastic and now I was sure that this year would turn out just right. So far everything has. The Christmas tree is done, shopping finished and snow on the ground. What else could I ask for?
Its true miracles really can come true!!!
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Broken christmas dreams..
So its that time of year again, when Christmas spirt fills the air and children's laughter can be heard everywhere. Shoppers buzz around the stores in search of the perfect gift, while clerks become dizzy watching them scurry about in their frantic last mintue moments. Procrastion has taken over the nation.
Trimming the tree , hanging the lights , stocking drapped over the mantle and singing christmas carols, all done so meticulously. Sweet scents of cookies and friut cakes baking fill the room, with family in the kitchen sneaking about trying to st eal a sample the treats from under moms nose but she gives them all a look that says "Don't you dare!". Giggles all around , jokes among the crowd as they know soon they sneak a nibble and have just a taste of the greatest sweets around. Better than anything ever tasted because mom baked them with love and care.
Parties to be planned and arrangements to be made for the out of town family flying in to stay, visit a bit, a whole year to catch up on. Oh and lets not forget the in-laws and all the great magical moments to be shared (Psst..for some its just not so magical). Then there's the relatives that you see on a regular basis but seeing them always brings a smile to your face. As guests arrive you touch up last mintue things just hoping that all will go smoothly and almost perfectly. (Psst..this will never happen)
Christmas eve is finally here, the day we've all waited for is soon to come. We'll sit down for dinner on this christmas eve , praying for the meal before us, the family and friends and just enjoying being together as a family. Everything is progressing so nicely despite the remarks from your grandfather stating the obvious "looks like you've put on a few pounds since last year, your solid now" as he chuckles..but he is so easily excused and forgiven.. as grandma chimes in "oh you know he didn't mean that " as she glares across the table at him wanting to kick him . If only her legs were longer.
At last, Christmas morning is here. Presents wrapped so neatly under the tree waiting for the kids smiling faces to see and rip open so quickly. Ah the joys of christmas morning, the proud parents amazed that things went off without a hitch. This is christmas..this is what its all about, the memories , families and the smile on a small childs face. You sit back , watch , enjoy as them beam and shine with such wonderous joy.
Now I know this is the perfect story but there is a twist.....this year will not be like this here at my house. Christmas just may not exist and dreams may be shattered. With our wonderful ecomony , there just isn't enough funds to make this year the best. So I'll have to find a way to break the news to them or destroy their dreams and beliefs about santa , promising them I'll make it up to them ..perhaps with uncle sams money. Should I even bother decorating? Can I just skip over christmas this year? Their little sad faces will be the worst gift ever this year...I'm so beside myself with worry, regret for not saving and worst of all breaking their hearts as mine breaks apart too.....I just don't know what I'll do this year.
Trimming the tree , hanging the lights , stocking drapped over the mantle and singing christmas carols, all done so meticulously. Sweet scents of cookies and friut cakes baking fill the room, with family in the kitchen sneaking about trying to st eal a sample the treats from under moms nose but she gives them all a look that says "Don't you dare!". Giggles all around , jokes among the crowd as they know soon they sneak a nibble and have just a taste of the greatest sweets around. Better than anything ever tasted because mom baked them with love and care.
Parties to be planned and arrangements to be made for the out of town family flying in to stay, visit a bit, a whole year to catch up on. Oh and lets not forget the in-laws and all the great magical moments to be shared (Psst..for some its just not so magical). Then there's the relatives that you see on a regular basis but seeing them always brings a smile to your face. As guests arrive you touch up last mintue things just hoping that all will go smoothly and almost perfectly. (Psst..this will never happen)
Christmas eve is finally here, the day we've all waited for is soon to come. We'll sit down for dinner on this christmas eve , praying for the meal before us, the family and friends and just enjoying being together as a family. Everything is progressing so nicely despite the remarks from your grandfather stating the obvious "looks like you've put on a few pounds since last year, your solid now" as he chuckles..but he is so easily excused and forgiven.. as grandma chimes in "oh you know he didn't mean that " as she glares across the table at him wanting to kick him . If only her legs were longer.
At last, Christmas morning is here. Presents wrapped so neatly under the tree waiting for the kids smiling faces to see and rip open so quickly. Ah the joys of christmas morning, the proud parents amazed that things went off without a hitch. This is christmas..this is what its all about, the memories , families and the smile on a small childs face. You sit back , watch , enjoy as them beam and shine with such wonderous joy.
Now I know this is the perfect story but there is a twist.....this year will not be like this here at my house. Christmas just may not exist and dreams may be shattered. With our wonderful ecomony , there just isn't enough funds to make this year the best. So I'll have to find a way to break the news to them or destroy their dreams and beliefs about santa , promising them I'll make it up to them ..perhaps with uncle sams money. Should I even bother decorating? Can I just skip over christmas this year? Their little sad faces will be the worst gift ever this year...I'm so beside myself with worry, regret for not saving and worst of all breaking their hearts as mine breaks apart too.....I just don't know what I'll do this year.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Hell....
As calm as the eye of a storm, blood drops silently hit the flood
A puddle begins to form, all is quiet, all is still but not the norm
A body once so warm and fragile, slowly become increasingly cold
A chill sweeps over the room, a known presence is lurking among us
What once was, will never be again now that sin has been invited back in
A nameless, faceless soul now awaits its last remaining fate
A shell of a man stands alone amidst the flames, as the master has finally come to claim what is rightfully his and take him home, into his lair
Devoured by his evilness, emptiness is all that remains only to spend an eternity in purgatory
His screams and cries will never be heard as his flesh melts and burns into ash
Ashes blown in the wind, sin has vanished, forgotten....gone...
A puddle begins to form, all is quiet, all is still but not the norm
A body once so warm and fragile, slowly become increasingly cold
A chill sweeps over the room, a known presence is lurking among us
What once was, will never be again now that sin has been invited back in
A nameless, faceless soul now awaits its last remaining fate
A shell of a man stands alone amidst the flames, as the master has finally come to claim what is rightfully his and take him home, into his lair
Devoured by his evilness, emptiness is all that remains only to spend an eternity in purgatory
His screams and cries will never be heard as his flesh melts and burns into ash
Ashes blown in the wind, sin has vanished, forgotten....gone...
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Massive emotions....
Ever feel like your heart is so full that it might just explode?
Bursting at the seams with joy and happiness, then fear sweeps in....
Daring you to let yourself love with all you have...scared to death if you love completely, you may lose the one thing that matters the most.
Strange as it sounds...its like chasing a ghost...you never completely believed in it but you've felt its presence. Now that its gone, there's a certain emptiness in the air.
Fear of being alone and lonely has a was of creeping into your thoughts. Wondering if I'll have this forever. Lost and alone is a place I'm not willing to go.
Troubled times will come and go ...and the "what ifs " haunt me so..
what if this is the last time I'll feel your touch...
what if this is the last time I hear your voice...
what if this is the last time I see your face...
what if this is the last time I'm locked in your embrace..
Misplaced feeling, mixed emotions.. let it all hang out and risk it all.. or keep it hidden so that I may enjoy you awhile longer..
If the music's over , I don't want to stop dancing and if my knees go weak, let me stand on your feet..can't let the dance end....
Bursting at the seams with joy and happiness, then fear sweeps in....
Daring you to let yourself love with all you have...scared to death if you love completely, you may lose the one thing that matters the most.
Strange as it sounds...its like chasing a ghost...you never completely believed in it but you've felt its presence. Now that its gone, there's a certain emptiness in the air.
Fear of being alone and lonely has a was of creeping into your thoughts. Wondering if I'll have this forever. Lost and alone is a place I'm not willing to go.
Troubled times will come and go ...and the "what ifs " haunt me so..
what if this is the last time I'll feel your touch...
what if this is the last time I hear your voice...
what if this is the last time I see your face...
what if this is the last time I'm locked in your embrace..
Misplaced feeling, mixed emotions.. let it all hang out and risk it all.. or keep it hidden so that I may enjoy you awhile longer..
If the music's over , I don't want to stop dancing and if my knees go weak, let me stand on your feet..can't let the dance end....
Monday, November 9, 2009
Fall leaves...
Fall leaves crumbling under my feet as I walk into the distance.
Watching the leaves fall, I have no worries at all.
Twirling and spinning around as the wind blows them about,
One by one the leaves slowly float to the ground barely making a sound.
A calming peace is what I've found as the world around me seems to be frozen.
Breathing in the air that surrounds me and soaking up the silence is the greatest peace I've found.
Staring up at the trees as the breeze catches the leaves in its gaze
Lost in this moment, this is the perfect way to spend a day.
Branches sway side to side, dancing for the sky
The whistling wind sings a song that you can't help but to hum along
As the wind picks up and carries some leaves away
I'll silently sit and wish it would carry me off too
So that I can be forever lost in this peaceful moment
Watching the leaves fall, I have no worries at all.
Twirling and spinning around as the wind blows them about,
One by one the leaves slowly float to the ground barely making a sound.
A calming peace is what I've found as the world around me seems to be frozen.
Breathing in the air that surrounds me and soaking up the silence is the greatest peace I've found.
Staring up at the trees as the breeze catches the leaves in its gaze
Lost in this moment, this is the perfect way to spend a day.
Branches sway side to side, dancing for the sky
The whistling wind sings a song that you can't help but to hum along
As the wind picks up and carries some leaves away
I'll silently sit and wish it would carry me off too
So that I can be forever lost in this peaceful moment
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Greatest hubby!
Ladies its official.......I have the greatest husband in the world and he's all mine! Hubby has been off from work for a few weeks and its just been amazing. He's sorta on a mini vacation. We have been spending so much quality time together and I'm really going to hate to see him go back to work. I will miss him so much. (sobs) ...
My wonderful man has been helping out around the house too. Doing laundry, helping with dinner, homework, taking out the trash and just about anything I have mentioned or asked he's on the job.
Spoiling me to no end.....
I was sick with a cold and he was the biggest sweetheart ever taking care of me. Bringing me medicine and cough drops while I worked. He kept asking me if i needed anything. So thoughtful of him.
We have been going out to breakfast before my shift way too much but he doesn't care, just does it for me. IHOPS is on the list of my favorite places. Mmm love their MVP breakfast!
OH and he surprised me Friday, he went out to the store and to run some errands. He came home handed me the receipts from our bank account and left the room but walked back in with my surprise. A sheetz frozen mocha coffee drink with all the extras!!! It's my absolute favorite drink! Topped with whipped cream and chocolate, just heavenly. My mouth waters just to think about it. Hubby sat the drink down next to me and kissed my forehead. I couldn't tell him thank you right away because I was on the phone with a customer but the smile on my face said it all. He smiled back and said "your welcome love."
Quiet ,Quality, and cuddle time.....QQC
When the kids are in bed hubby and I can finally have quiet, quality and cuddle time together. Our house is like a zoo where the noise never ends until all the animals have been fed and put to bed. World of warcraft has been a great escape for us. It's our drug of choice (game) that we can play together without any other distractions. Quality time is something that every couple needs, its a must for us, especially when we have 4 kids that are like little energizer bunnies. Of course cuddle time is my favorite but I'll leave the details out.....or perhaps to your imagination.
Calming voice.....
I get a little crazy at times and over react to things really easy. Like when we have a million (seems) bills to pay and not enough money. I freak out just a bit, ok more than a bit, but hubby is always there to say "Relax, don't get yourself so worked up." When I am overwhelmed about the house being a complete mess and don't even know where to start to cleaning, he pitches in and again I hear him saying "Relax". When anything and everything in my world seems to be falling apart, he's there picking up the pieces again telling me to "relax" I can get thur anything knowing that he is by my side. In my heart I know he always will be. He's the one constant in my life that I depend on and trust .
Calming voice (older Post)
This one was wrote for hubby.2/19/09"Calming Voice"It's your voice that is most calming to me, Its your voice that can always sing to me. Better than any song I've ever heard, your words are the perfect melody. When My life is hectic and things seem to be falling apart, Its your voice that echos in my heart and brings me back to a calming start.When I'm having a bad day or things just aren't going my way, hearing you say "relax" makes it all go away. Your calming voice eases my mind and I can once again have peace of mind. I'm so glad your mine!!When the walls seem to be caving in and my world falling apart, your always there helping me not to fall apart too. I don't know what I'd ever do without you. Your the one person in this world that I know I could never live without. Your more than my rock; your the very part of me that makes me whole and I know I'd completely fall apart if I had to live without your love in my heart
One more thing that can not be forgotten, he is an awesome dad! absolutely wonderful with all four of the kids. He makes sure they all have one on one time and feel special. Whatever the problem or question they have he's there 100% answering or giving them the best advice possible.
I love this man, the greatest husband in the whole world!
My wonderful man has been helping out around the house too. Doing laundry, helping with dinner, homework, taking out the trash and just about anything I have mentioned or asked he's on the job.
Spoiling me to no end.....
I was sick with a cold and he was the biggest sweetheart ever taking care of me. Bringing me medicine and cough drops while I worked. He kept asking me if i needed anything. So thoughtful of him.
We have been going out to breakfast before my shift way too much but he doesn't care, just does it for me. IHOPS is on the list of my favorite places. Mmm love their MVP breakfast!
OH and he surprised me Friday, he went out to the store and to run some errands. He came home handed me the receipts from our bank account and left the room but walked back in with my surprise. A sheetz frozen mocha coffee drink with all the extras!!! It's my absolute favorite drink! Topped with whipped cream and chocolate, just heavenly. My mouth waters just to think about it. Hubby sat the drink down next to me and kissed my forehead. I couldn't tell him thank you right away because I was on the phone with a customer but the smile on my face said it all. He smiled back and said "your welcome love."
Quiet ,Quality, and cuddle time.....QQC
When the kids are in bed hubby and I can finally have quiet, quality and cuddle time together. Our house is like a zoo where the noise never ends until all the animals have been fed and put to bed. World of warcraft has been a great escape for us. It's our drug of choice (game) that we can play together without any other distractions. Quality time is something that every couple needs, its a must for us, especially when we have 4 kids that are like little energizer bunnies. Of course cuddle time is my favorite but I'll leave the details out.....or perhaps to your imagination.
Calming voice.....
I get a little crazy at times and over react to things really easy. Like when we have a million (seems) bills to pay and not enough money. I freak out just a bit, ok more than a bit, but hubby is always there to say "Relax, don't get yourself so worked up." When I am overwhelmed about the house being a complete mess and don't even know where to start to cleaning, he pitches in and again I hear him saying "Relax". When anything and everything in my world seems to be falling apart, he's there picking up the pieces again telling me to "relax" I can get thur anything knowing that he is by my side. In my heart I know he always will be. He's the one constant in my life that I depend on and trust .
Calming voice (older Post)
This one was wrote for hubby.2/19/09"Calming Voice"It's your voice that is most calming to me, Its your voice that can always sing to me. Better than any song I've ever heard, your words are the perfect melody. When My life is hectic and things seem to be falling apart, Its your voice that echos in my heart and brings me back to a calming start.When I'm having a bad day or things just aren't going my way, hearing you say "relax" makes it all go away. Your calming voice eases my mind and I can once again have peace of mind. I'm so glad your mine!!When the walls seem to be caving in and my world falling apart, your always there helping me not to fall apart too. I don't know what I'd ever do without you. Your the one person in this world that I know I could never live without. Your more than my rock; your the very part of me that makes me whole and I know I'd completely fall apart if I had to live without your love in my heart
One more thing that can not be forgotten, he is an awesome dad! absolutely wonderful with all four of the kids. He makes sure they all have one on one time and feel special. Whatever the problem or question they have he's there 100% answering or giving them the best advice possible.
I love this man, the greatest husband in the whole world!
Monday, October 19, 2009
Wow and battle.net.....what a headache!
So we have world of warcraft online game that has to be linked to battle.net. How did the simple task of merging the two sites together become such a damn chore?! Hubby has been working on this for a few days now and is getting quite frustrated I might add. In order to keep playing wow the acct. must be linked to battlenet but that site is having technical difficulties. He calls tech support for battle.net and waits forever for the line to be open....damn busy tone!
30 minutes later..........................................................................
The phone is no longer busy, Yes finally! He gets an agent on the phone and they are working on this problem together. Note: we have two wow accts, so she has her work cut out for her. Everything was going swimmingly well with merging his account to battle.net. Then It came time to link my account....Ugh here comes the drama. Handing the phone to me was perhaps his biggest mistake yet. I'm talking to the tech support lady and she is working on my account. Very nice lady and very helpful! She tells me she will be sending me two emails, tells me she is putting me on hold and I'm waiting again, patiently. Now for the real ass kicker, knowing me you know what is coming. Leave it to me and I'll find a way to screw up the simplest thing.
I tell hubby " we really should switch the phones so we don't' get disconnected, since we have been having phone problems" . So very reluctantly he goes to to get the other hand set. He turned the phone on.. I turned mine off. Then of course his line had dial tone! So no more tech support lady because of my screw up. Now he is holding line again, and I guess its all my fault! Can't do anything without screwing it up!
Oh and I'm sorry hubby...don't let me talk to tech support again.
30 minutes later..........................................................................
The phone is no longer busy, Yes finally! He gets an agent on the phone and they are working on this problem together. Note: we have two wow accts, so she has her work cut out for her. Everything was going swimmingly well with merging his account to battle.net. Then It came time to link my account....Ugh here comes the drama. Handing the phone to me was perhaps his biggest mistake yet. I'm talking to the tech support lady and she is working on my account. Very nice lady and very helpful! She tells me she will be sending me two emails, tells me she is putting me on hold and I'm waiting again, patiently. Now for the real ass kicker, knowing me you know what is coming. Leave it to me and I'll find a way to screw up the simplest thing.
I tell hubby " we really should switch the phones so we don't' get disconnected, since we have been having phone problems" . So very reluctantly he goes to to get the other hand set. He turned the phone on.. I turned mine off. Then of course his line had dial tone! So no more tech support lady because of my screw up. Now he is holding line again, and I guess its all my fault! Can't do anything without screwing it up!
Oh and I'm sorry hubby...don't let me talk to tech support again.
Friday, October 9, 2009
Sucks 2 B Sick.....
So I'm tired of being sick.....Darn cold is getting me down. I've decided I'm going to be lazy all weekend. Staying warm and cozy in my comfy clothes without a care in the world. Its raining and I don't' care..let it pour. I have no where to be.
Pizza for dinner....awesome....I didn't have to cook! Of course the kids love pizza and let me take the easy way out.
Hubby is home this weekend, so we are going to play warcraft together and be lazy. I hope this weekend drags on like a bad Monday. Never ending weekend would be great and sleeping in late even better.
I'm not making alot of sense so for now good bye....someone please take this cold...I'll pay you.
Pizza for dinner....awesome....I didn't have to cook! Of course the kids love pizza and let me take the easy way out.
Hubby is home this weekend, so we are going to play warcraft together and be lazy. I hope this weekend drags on like a bad Monday. Never ending weekend would be great and sleeping in late even better.
I'm not making alot of sense so for now good bye....someone please take this cold...I'll pay you.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Oh Spider....
Oh spider, weave me a web better than I've woven
Oh spider , show me a life better than I've known
Oh spider, teach me your techniques and tricks
Oh spider, reach for me as I fall and release me at my will
Oh spider, I've so much time to kill, come quietly and kill it with me
Oh spider, If I promise to seek out the night with you? Will you promise to sleep in the morning with me?
Oh spider, Lets swing tree to tree carelessly slaying our enemies as we swing.
Oh spider, take me all the places I've always wanted to go but never could escape my own web that held me so.
Oh spider, even thou no words you speak and you sometimes creep up on me , you'll always be such an oddly amazing insect to me
Oh spider, deceive only those who have deceived me , wrap me in your web and promise to never leave me.
Oh spider , show me a life better than I've known
Oh spider, teach me your techniques and tricks
Oh spider, reach for me as I fall and release me at my will
Oh spider, I've so much time to kill, come quietly and kill it with me
Oh spider, If I promise to seek out the night with you? Will you promise to sleep in the morning with me?
Oh spider, Lets swing tree to tree carelessly slaying our enemies as we swing.
Oh spider, take me all the places I've always wanted to go but never could escape my own web that held me so.
Oh spider, even thou no words you speak and you sometimes creep up on me , you'll always be such an oddly amazing insect to me
Oh spider, deceive only those who have deceived me , wrap me in your web and promise to never leave me.
Sometimes we go through life without ever knowing why we are here.
Living our lives in fear, wasting away throughout the years.
Sometimes we take the long way home.
The longer the walk, the less pain our hearts feel.
Walking in the rain, humming along as the drops hit the ground.
Tears streaming down and not making a sound because the wind blew them away.
Time doesnt' heal all wounds, just numbs away the cares of the day.
Sometimes a stranger's voice is the most comforting sound.
When your world seems to come crashing down, they listen without judgement.
Sometimes we wonder if we are needed here, if we have a purpose.
Then a glimmer of hope shines thru the clouds.
As the last tear falls, you look up the sky and cry.
Hope is the last thing we have left......
Living our lives in fear, wasting away throughout the years.
Sometimes we take the long way home.
The longer the walk, the less pain our hearts feel.
Walking in the rain, humming along as the drops hit the ground.
Tears streaming down and not making a sound because the wind blew them away.
Time doesnt' heal all wounds, just numbs away the cares of the day.
Sometimes a stranger's voice is the most comforting sound.
When your world seems to come crashing down, they listen without judgement.
Sometimes we wonder if we are needed here, if we have a purpose.
Then a glimmer of hope shines thru the clouds.
As the last tear falls, you look up the sky and cry.
Hope is the last thing we have left......
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Extending school days.....
Disclaimer: This blog is not meant to be political or start a debate. This is the concerns that my kids came home from school with today. For starters I have to let all of you know, my views are not bias.. I would feel this way regardless of who our president was. While it is true I did not vote for "our" president, its also true .... I did not vote at all. Readers please do not take offense, its not what I intend.
My step daughter came home from Jr. high today very anixous and nervous about the news she had learned from her history teacher. Apparently Obama has plans or ideas on extending the length of the school day or calendar year. Comparing us to other countries and how the students in those countries go longer into the summer. To list a few of those countries and stats: Japan 243 days, south korea 220, Israel 216, and the list goes on. You can view the complete list here ..
http://www.eduinreview.com/blog/2009/03/obama-proposes-longer-school-days-extended-school-year/
Obama wants to extend classes by 3 hrs and day or extend the school year into the summer. He also is proposing the students go to school on the weekend. Now this concerns me as much as it did my step daughter. If students spend 9 hrs in school, and a typical 8 hrs sleeping, this only leaves 7 hrs to be spend with family, friends, homework, dinner and not to mention any after school activity they may have. When is there time for children to be kids? While I do believe education is an important part of a childs life and critical for their future. I also believe that kids need time away from school just to have a childhood.
So my step daughter rants and raves about how she found out. Her history teacher brought the subject up and comented on it, however when the students voiced their opinions, they were told to be quiet and keep their views to themselves. What ever happened to freedom of speech? How about a right to have your own views , thoughts and opinions? The students have all right to be upset and have questions about this. It directly affects their future and that is something they should have a say in.
My youngest daughter over heard her sister talking and this also sparked her interest. She says to me "Mommy what about kids that go to chruch on sunday, how can they go if they have school?" She then begining to ask me " If this happens , can I skip school on the weekends?" So I try and reasure her that this probably will not pass in congress. My daughter is only 8 years old and I don't think this is something she should have to worry about but being the little adult that she is...this worries her.
Some of my other concerns include, What happens to family vacations if students are in school longer? What about holidays, Will students be forced to give up some of their days off? Where does the funding come from to pay the teachers to stay longer hours and extended time into the summer?
This is part of what obama has to say .... “We can no longer afford an academic calendar designed when America was a nation of farmers who needed their children at home plowing the land at the end of each day,” Obama said. He continued to say “That calendar may have once made sense, but today, it puts us at a competitive disadvantage. Our children spend over a month less in school than children in South Korea. That is no way to prepare them for a 21st century economy.”
Now this makes me think... Is having them attend school longer and preparing them for the 21-century more important than letting them have a childhood. I truly believe that this plan will not raise test scores and attendance but they will decline. Students will be more tired, care less and its even possible that drop-out rates will increase. So is this really worth it?
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/2009/09/28/2009-09-28_president_obama_wants_to_keep_kids_in_school_longer_extended_days_weekend_hours_.html
My step daughter came home from Jr. high today very anixous and nervous about the news she had learned from her history teacher. Apparently Obama has plans or ideas on extending the length of the school day or calendar year. Comparing us to other countries and how the students in those countries go longer into the summer. To list a few of those countries and stats: Japan 243 days, south korea 220, Israel 216, and the list goes on. You can view the complete list here ..
http://www.eduinreview.com/blog/2009/03/obama-proposes-longer-school-days-extended-school-year/
Obama wants to extend classes by 3 hrs and day or extend the school year into the summer. He also is proposing the students go to school on the weekend. Now this concerns me as much as it did my step daughter. If students spend 9 hrs in school, and a typical 8 hrs sleeping, this only leaves 7 hrs to be spend with family, friends, homework, dinner and not to mention any after school activity they may have. When is there time for children to be kids? While I do believe education is an important part of a childs life and critical for their future. I also believe that kids need time away from school just to have a childhood.
So my step daughter rants and raves about how she found out. Her history teacher brought the subject up and comented on it, however when the students voiced their opinions, they were told to be quiet and keep their views to themselves. What ever happened to freedom of speech? How about a right to have your own views , thoughts and opinions? The students have all right to be upset and have questions about this. It directly affects their future and that is something they should have a say in.
My youngest daughter over heard her sister talking and this also sparked her interest. She says to me "Mommy what about kids that go to chruch on sunday, how can they go if they have school?" She then begining to ask me " If this happens , can I skip school on the weekends?" So I try and reasure her that this probably will not pass in congress. My daughter is only 8 years old and I don't think this is something she should have to worry about but being the little adult that she is...this worries her.
Some of my other concerns include, What happens to family vacations if students are in school longer? What about holidays, Will students be forced to give up some of their days off? Where does the funding come from to pay the teachers to stay longer hours and extended time into the summer?
This is part of what obama has to say .... “We can no longer afford an academic calendar designed when America was a nation of farmers who needed their children at home plowing the land at the end of each day,” Obama said. He continued to say “That calendar may have once made sense, but today, it puts us at a competitive disadvantage. Our children spend over a month less in school than children in South Korea. That is no way to prepare them for a 21st century economy.”
Now this makes me think... Is having them attend school longer and preparing them for the 21-century more important than letting them have a childhood. I truly believe that this plan will not raise test scores and attendance but they will decline. Students will be more tired, care less and its even possible that drop-out rates will increase. So is this really worth it?
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/2009/09/28/2009-09-28_president_obama_wants_to_keep_kids_in_school_longer_extended_days_weekend_hours_.html
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
lost......
09/29/09
~Lost~
Can you hear my fear? Whispering in the wind.,"Come and find me if you can....."
Do you sense when I'm near? Miles from anywhere is where I am
Do you want me here? Don't belong anywhere
Do you understand me? Can't even begin to comprehend
Can you see this misplaced look upon my face? Hard to distinguish pain that time could not erase
Out of time, lost somewhere in space, confused and running in place trying to find my safe place.
No place is safe, Confusion is a space i'm lost in and out of time.......
Lost ......someone please find me....
~Lost~
Can you hear my fear? Whispering in the wind.,"Come and find me if you can....."
Do you sense when I'm near? Miles from anywhere is where I am
Do you want me here? Don't belong anywhere
Do you understand me? Can't even begin to comprehend
Can you see this misplaced look upon my face? Hard to distinguish pain that time could not erase
Out of time, lost somewhere in space, confused and running in place trying to find my safe place.
No place is safe, Confusion is a space i'm lost in and out of time.......
Lost ......someone please find me....
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Top 10 reasons you shouldn't make online friends....10 to 1
Top ten reasons you shouldn't make online friends.....10 to 1
10.People you meet online are no different than strangers on the street.
9.Talking to someone for 6 hrs straight does not mean you got to know them.. its not equivalent to knowing them in real life.
8.Lying is the easiest thing online...there's no face expressions or body language to read to tell the difference.
7.You have no idea who you are "really" talking to....age isn't a factor. Just because they tell you that they are 21 doesnt' mean its so.. the internet doesn't provide date of birth.
6.The internet is full of ppl who prey on sad, lonely, heartbroken, and troubled individuals. They will tell you exactly what you want to hear and never mean a word of it.
5.Letting your guard down and becoming emotionally involved isn't the best idea...but ladies lets face it.. its all too easy to go down this road. (perhaps some men have been there too)
4.Becoming emotionally attached to someone who listens to your problems online is the quickest way to destroy or ruin any real life realationship you may have.
3.Sneaking around...sooner or later you start hiding who or the things you talk about online...again relationship wrecker.
2. You begin to trust this person and sometimes even meet them...
1. This person , male, female. he-she or it.. is no different than a stranger off the street.
The only exception to this post is .. if you can honestly tell yourself you'll never want anymore than friendship and you can promise without a doubt , that this will not affect your real life realationships. More importantly you have to understand.. someone online can tell you anything..doesn't mean it is true. Would you be this golible in real life?
10.People you meet online are no different than strangers on the street.
9.Talking to someone for 6 hrs straight does not mean you got to know them.. its not equivalent to knowing them in real life.
8.Lying is the easiest thing online...there's no face expressions or body language to read to tell the difference.
7.You have no idea who you are "really" talking to....age isn't a factor. Just because they tell you that they are 21 doesnt' mean its so.. the internet doesn't provide date of birth.
6.The internet is full of ppl who prey on sad, lonely, heartbroken, and troubled individuals. They will tell you exactly what you want to hear and never mean a word of it.
5.Letting your guard down and becoming emotionally involved isn't the best idea...but ladies lets face it.. its all too easy to go down this road. (perhaps some men have been there too)
4.Becoming emotionally attached to someone who listens to your problems online is the quickest way to destroy or ruin any real life realationship you may have.
3.Sneaking around...sooner or later you start hiding who or the things you talk about online...again relationship wrecker.
2. You begin to trust this person and sometimes even meet them...
1. This person , male, female. he-she or it.. is no different than a stranger off the street.
The only exception to this post is .. if you can honestly tell yourself you'll never want anymore than friendship and you can promise without a doubt , that this will not affect your real life realationships. More importantly you have to understand.. someone online can tell you anything..doesn't mean it is true. Would you be this golible in real life?
Thursday, September 24, 2009
The things you catch yourself saying.....
As a mother and a wife, there are so many things in my life that I catch myself saying...things that just didn't belong before this life existed..family .. kids.. work...Ya know Responsiblities. Some are funny, some are crazy, and lets face it some are scary.
The words that spill out of our mouths,even surprise us at times and its not always the best or most impressive and when you just can't find anything else to say, Out comes the word-vomit.
As a Mother.................................................................................................................................................
"No you can't eat your glue because it smells good!"
"Stop picking your sister's nose, you've got your own!" eww gross I know.
"How would you like it if I smacked you?! We don't hit each other."
"Don't make me tell your dad...you'll be sorry then!"
"I don't' know your pixie hollow password, now please let me talk on the phone."
"I'm going to count to five and then....." they look at you like "and then what mom?"
"Just look at this place! It's an upside down disaster!' my mom's favorite saying that I caught myself saying....and she wasn't' talking about a new desert cake.
"No you can not have another pet, this place already looks like the local zoo!"
"Get my shoes off! Those are my good dress shoes."
"Could I please just have 5 mintues to myself? Thats all I ask, Please sweetie?"
"Don't put that in your ear!" this one is usually followed by a trip to the ER...
"There's no way you are wearing that young lady!" to your teen as she tries sneaking past you.
"Save your breathe, no need to lie. I'm going to find out anyhow"
As a Wife.....................................................................................................................................................
"Could you please just tell that woman, I dont' want her junk!" take a guess who this one is about..
"No I am not lost, I'm just not sure where I am" to hubby on your way home..
"For pete sakes! Just pull over and ask for directions. Would it kill you?"
"Oh no, the dog can not sleep here!" as hubby says 'but thats my boy, just look at him'
"You want it so much, then you do it."
"Honey can we just have pizza this Thanksgiving?"
" I burned dinner again.. sorry."
"If you think i'm doing that, your more crazy than I thought. " our guys can be adventurous and crazy so ladies fill in your own word in place of "that".
I'm sure I can think of a ton more but my mind is just too sleepy tonight. What are some of the things you catch yourself saying?
The words that spill out of our mouths,even surprise us at times and its not always the best or most impressive and when you just can't find anything else to say, Out comes the word-vomit.
As a Mother.................................................................................................................................................
"No you can't eat your glue because it smells good!"
"Stop picking your sister's nose, you've got your own!" eww gross I know.
"How would you like it if I smacked you?! We don't hit each other."
"Don't make me tell your dad...you'll be sorry then!"
"I don't' know your pixie hollow password, now please let me talk on the phone."
"I'm going to count to five and then....." they look at you like "and then what mom?"
"Just look at this place! It's an upside down disaster!' my mom's favorite saying that I caught myself saying....and she wasn't' talking about a new desert cake.
"No you can not have another pet, this place already looks like the local zoo!"
"Get my shoes off! Those are my good dress shoes."
"Could I please just have 5 mintues to myself? Thats all I ask, Please sweetie?"
"Don't put that in your ear!" this one is usually followed by a trip to the ER...
"There's no way you are wearing that young lady!" to your teen as she tries sneaking past you.
"Save your breathe, no need to lie. I'm going to find out anyhow"
As a Wife.....................................................................................................................................................
"Could you please just tell that woman, I dont' want her junk!" take a guess who this one is about..
"No I am not lost, I'm just not sure where I am" to hubby on your way home..
"For pete sakes! Just pull over and ask for directions. Would it kill you?"
"Oh no, the dog can not sleep here!" as hubby says 'but thats my boy, just look at him'
"You want it so much, then you do it."
"Honey can we just have pizza this Thanksgiving?"
" I burned dinner again.. sorry."
"If you think i'm doing that, your more crazy than I thought. " our guys can be adventurous and crazy so ladies fill in your own word in place of "that".
I'm sure I can think of a ton more but my mind is just too sleepy tonight. What are some of the things you catch yourself saying?
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Dancing in the rain...
Dancing in the rain is the greatest way to hide the pain.
No one can see the tears streaming down my face.
Memories that I can not erase...
Feelings can not replace this empty space...
Searching for a place that I am more than just a face...
Yearning for the peace of mind that my soul can not find..
Learning to cope and slowly losing all hope...
Seeking a place I can hide..
Inside my mind has become that place...
Dancing in the rain is the greatest way to hide the pain.
No one can see the tears streaming down my face.
Memories that I can not erase...
Feelings can not replace this empty space...
Searching for a place that I am more than just a face...
Yearning for the peace of mind that my soul can not find..
Learning to cope and slowly losing all hope...
Seeking a place I can hide..
Inside my mind has become that place...
Dancing in the rain is the greatest way to hide the pain.
Why do kids think everything is funny?
No matter what the situation, my 8 yr old daughter thinks everything is so funny. As always I find myself saying "That's not funny, I'm serious this isn't funny!" over and over again. How many times have you caught yourself saying that phrase or something similar? I'll give you some examples of the things she finds just hilarious.
I was playing with my daughter in her room and I stumped my toe on the edge of her bed. I let out a yell and tried to hold back the swear words. As I sat in pain and almost tears, she giggled uncontrollably. I looked at her wanting to scream more and said 'this isn't funny, mommy doesn't laugh at you when you are hurt'. She tried to apolize but couldnt' get her words out without laughing.
Another time, we were playing barbies and she wanted me to sit on her floor. I knew that I couldn't sit for long on the floor before my legs would fall asleep. So after about 20 mintues, the phone rang and of course I had to get up to answer it. Omg, as I began to stand up pain and numbness shot straight thru my feet and all the way to my hip. I screamed like I had just been ran over with a car. Once again, I was her comic relief. She laughed and giggled until she stopped breathing for a mintue or so. I quickly turned around when i didnt hear her anymore. "Breath!!" i screamed. The poor child was laughing so hard , she had fallen over and was almost in tears.
For the life of me, I can not figure out why she thinks everything is funny.
Sitting around the living room eating and watching tv...someone left a sandwich on the coffee table while they ran to the other room. The dog quickly snagged the sandwich and swallowed it whole. It wasnt' really the dogs fault, afterall it was a natural reaction for her to gobble it up. Dogs think anything left lying around is fair game. Now my stepson was furious at the dog for eating his sandwich but my daughter couldn't resist the urge to laugh. She looks at the dog and says "good girl, good Asia you ate the sandwich.". This just made her brother more mad and upset yet she couldn't stop laughing insanely.
There are so many more moments when she thought things were funny that were never meant to be. I'll be sure to add more soon and feel free to add some of your own "why do kids think everything is funny?" spills.
I was playing with my daughter in her room and I stumped my toe on the edge of her bed. I let out a yell and tried to hold back the swear words. As I sat in pain and almost tears, she giggled uncontrollably. I looked at her wanting to scream more and said 'this isn't funny, mommy doesn't laugh at you when you are hurt'. She tried to apolize but couldnt' get her words out without laughing.
Another time, we were playing barbies and she wanted me to sit on her floor. I knew that I couldn't sit for long on the floor before my legs would fall asleep. So after about 20 mintues, the phone rang and of course I had to get up to answer it. Omg, as I began to stand up pain and numbness shot straight thru my feet and all the way to my hip. I screamed like I had just been ran over with a car. Once again, I was her comic relief. She laughed and giggled until she stopped breathing for a mintue or so. I quickly turned around when i didnt hear her anymore. "Breath!!" i screamed. The poor child was laughing so hard , she had fallen over and was almost in tears.
For the life of me, I can not figure out why she thinks everything is funny.
Sitting around the living room eating and watching tv...someone left a sandwich on the coffee table while they ran to the other room. The dog quickly snagged the sandwich and swallowed it whole. It wasnt' really the dogs fault, afterall it was a natural reaction for her to gobble it up. Dogs think anything left lying around is fair game. Now my stepson was furious at the dog for eating his sandwich but my daughter couldn't resist the urge to laugh. She looks at the dog and says "good girl, good Asia you ate the sandwich.". This just made her brother more mad and upset yet she couldn't stop laughing insanely.
There are so many more moments when she thought things were funny that were never meant to be. I'll be sure to add more soon and feel free to add some of your own "why do kids think everything is funny?" spills.
Friday, September 18, 2009
Standing alone in the dark beneath the stars, I've come to realize my fate.
Listening to the crickets sing to me. Singing in perfect rhythm and harmony.
"This is home, this is where you belong. We've known it all along. Your vision was clouded and you just couldn't see, this is where you were meant to be. This is where you needed to be, and where you shall remain for all eternity. Troubled times will come and sad days too but we know in our hearts that you can be strong. This is home, this is where you belong"
In that moment, something had changed for me and reality had become clear to me. It was as if the stars winked at me telling it was ok to believe. Everything was just as it should be and this is where I am supposed to be. It's time to let go of the doubt and the pain that has held me captive for so long. It's time to laugh at my fears, smile at the world and let the rain wash my cares away. Tomorrow's another day and this is where I shall stay.
Listening to the crickets sing to me. Singing in perfect rhythm and harmony.
"This is home, this is where you belong. We've known it all along. Your vision was clouded and you just couldn't see, this is where you were meant to be. This is where you needed to be, and where you shall remain for all eternity. Troubled times will come and sad days too but we know in our hearts that you can be strong. This is home, this is where you belong"
In that moment, something had changed for me and reality had become clear to me. It was as if the stars winked at me telling it was ok to believe. Everything was just as it should be and this is where I am supposed to be. It's time to let go of the doubt and the pain that has held me captive for so long. It's time to laugh at my fears, smile at the world and let the rain wash my cares away. Tomorrow's another day and this is where I shall stay.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Is it time?
9/9/09
When what you need, isn't' what you want
When what you want, isn't' what you need
When all your hopes and dreams wash away like pebbles in the stream
When your biggest lie is that you hide behind a smile
When your daydreams become your new desires
When your desires are as distant as the stars
When your feelings get in the way
When your heart can no longer break
When your world seems like a fake
When it seems all you do , is wrong
Is it time to step away?.........
When what you need, isn't' what you want
When what you want, isn't' what you need
When all your hopes and dreams wash away like pebbles in the stream
When your biggest lie is that you hide behind a smile
When your daydreams become your new desires
When your desires are as distant as the stars
When your feelings get in the way
When your heart can no longer break
When your world seems like a fake
When it seems all you do , is wrong
Is it time to step away?.........
Saturday, September 5, 2009
My visit to the Mountains......and chilling in the garage.
Today I took the girls and we headed for the mountains to visit with my dad. I love the mountains! Its where I grew up and where my heart lives. So peaceful and quiet there, just like a mountain resort.
I was sitting around with my dad in his garage listening to him and his friends talk. Amazing how that man can tell stories that are bound to make everyone smile. We joked and laughed as the kids talked about school and which one is better. Funny thing is they talked about two elementary schools in the same district like they were rival schools. Then the subject of politics came up. This opened a can of worms for both us adults and the children. Talk about a loaded conversation but we'll leave that one in the hills.....
Dad's chickens were hanging around the garage as well, mingling about but they stayed outside. My brother acting like a teen again, was trying to catch them. I told him " If one pecks you, I'm going to laugh and you. Oh I can't wait for this!". He was tossing crackerjacks out to the chickens and lured one in close enough to catch. So he scooped up the chicken just as it bit down on the Carmel coated popcorn. Oddly the chicken never dropped its popcorn the whole time it was struggling to get loose. My brother put the chicken down very soon thou, I think he was nervous about being pecked. There was a little bit of crumbs left in the crackerjack bag and he threw them to the chickens. All the chickens came running in for a treat and were crowded in front of the garage. Then they started coming inside for more food. This was not good because my dad didn't like them in the garage because would poop on his floor. Dad's friend, Sir swear alot, tells my brother "you better get them F'n things out of here before they shit all over the F'n floor and your dad has an F'n fit" Sir swear alot curses often but for as long as I've known him, this is what he has been known for. The kids weren't bothered by it at all, they laughed at him.
Dad's other friend was asking if he was going to the races tonight. Well of course dad didn't' really want to go seeing how his car was out of commission. The motor blew up and its not very fun to sit and watch other people race when you want to be out there trying to beat them. Then dad starts joking with me again telling me how I should drop this new motor in his car for him while he goes away. Yeah sure I thought ,, like I know how to do that.
Dad's always busy fixing something. He just finished fixing my lawn mower today and my jeep a few weeks ago. He just can't sit still and relax. I think he sat a whole 2 mins and then sprang up like he had a spring in his but. So I say "dad sit down and relax a while longer". With arms open wide he says " You take care of all of this and I'll rest". Staring out across the yard, I see several cars that need repairs and other projects he has started. This is a man that will be assigning chores and jobs from the grave. From sun up to sun down, that man never stops to sit a spell. He'll finish a job and always say he has 50 million things to do. I want him to just do one , take a week off and stop to enjoy life. If I knew a way to send him away on a small trip , I'd even help him pack and leave all 50 million jobs and projects behind. Time is wasting and life is too short. Its time he start enjoying it more.
On the way home we stopped by the family cometary to see Pap and grandma's grave. My daughter wanted to check and see if the flowers she put on the grave were still there. Of course , just as I told her, they hadn't moved.
The perfect ending to this perfect day ended with a nice meal at Pizza Hut. Just me and the girls having a quiet day, the good ole fashion way.....
Thursday, September 3, 2009
The days seem to pass like molasses when I'm waiting to be with you
The nights seem to linger on forever
longing for your touch, my heart skips a beat
I miss you so much
Just my luck , I can't sleep again, and can't even dream of you
Can't believe its three am again.
When does this cycle end and when can I be in your arms again
Snuggled up close to you, cant' wait to get a dose of you
Your the drug that I desire the most
Time spent with you, is better than any dream I've ever had or that I can recall
Time spent with you, is never dull. Your words play just like a song
So soothing and easy to hum along with
A girl could get used to this.
We didn't always get along so well .
My heart is hoping these feelings are not wrong
I fell so fast and deep back into love
Lacking words to explain my need
Fearing I'm showing too much greed
I just need this to last
Forgetting all the past
Begging and pleading
Don't want to go back to being sad
Let's make this work this time
Start down a new path
Get home and fast
Miss you so much when days pass like molasses..
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Sold out Book covers....
So the kids have only been in school for three days and the teachers are demanding that they have these book covers or more commonly known as "book sox" to cover their books. The simplest thing had turned out to be a huge pain in the rear. Every store that we had checked was sold completely out. From town to town , across the county ....sold out. Our local walmart ordered 3600 of these book sox and they flew off the shelves. We thought we may have got lucky at a dollar store. There was a huge line of people waiting to get into the store, so hubby says "Oh maybe they have book sox and are waiting for the store to open!" . He walks up to this lady and asked her "excuse me are you waiting for the store to open? we were hoping they are selling book sox here. we have looked everywhere." The lady burst into laughter and says "No we are waiting for interviews, you can go in and look for your book sox" Omg talk about hilarious! We went inside and headed straight to the school supplies and again no such luck, sold out. By this time we had already been to 3 stores and we were getting hungry and frustrated. If its so important for the kids to have them, then the school needs to provide them. This was ridiculous and a waste of time. So off to the next town we go looking again but no luck. Finally as a last resort we check staples, wow they wanted $4.99 for these things. That was crazy considering walmart sold them for only .80 cents. There was no way we were paying that price. We decided that we were at the end of our rope and went for some lunch. While there , hubby was telling the waitress of our book sox adventure and she tells us she knows a place that sells them and casually adds "but don't' tell anyone else, I need to buy my kids 10 more". Sure who are we going to tell .. strange lady. Now at this secret place buying book soxs, we tell the cashier, " the lady at said restrantant says she is coming in to buy 10 ". Funniest thing ever, the cashier says .. oh I know who you mean! Hubby says well if you start running low , put some of them back for her.
I swear when next year rolls around , I am stocking up on book soxs and saving myself some time. Hubby says we should sell them to the neighborhood kids at 3 bux a cover .
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
My Birthday!
Today was a great day! My husband and I went to breakfast after taking our daughter to the bus stop. It was so nice to be able to sit and enjoy each others company without the kids. We laughed and talked all Thur the meal like we did when we first met. At times, it seemed as if we were the only ones in the room. He kept staring across the table at me smiling and telling me how much he loved me and what I meant to him. It was so peaceful and relaxing. Across the room, I heard loud clapping and singing. All the waitresses were crowded around a table with toy clappers and singing happy birthday to a lady. Well without thinking, I say "Omg, don't' ever do that too me!", and then I realized I had stuck my foot in my mouth as always. Tomorrow is my birthday. Instantly his face lit up and he remembered. It was as if a bell or whistle went off in his head. I looked right at him and said "No , don't do it, I'll kick you under the table if you do!" So he kept asking me if he could tell the waitress it was going to be my birthday tomorrow and I kept telling him no. Finally he stopped asking me and said we were going to be leaving soon anyway. I began to feel bad for bursting his bubble and i gave in. Telling it was fine...but at this point he had changed his mind. Hubby tells me we are leaving after he gets more kiwi off the buffet bar. Accepting it, I grabbed my things and was ready to head for the door. The buffet was out kiwi, so he asked the waitress if she could have more put out. Some time had passed and still no kiwi. He then says "I'm going to wash my hands , they are sticky." "Fine" I say... Minutes later he returns to his seat , still waiting on that kiwi. I am thinking , why are we still waiting. As golible and unsuspecting as I am, I just sat there. Just then, I heard the loud clapping and saw the waitresses coming towards our table. I could feel myself turning red as they got closer to us. They all stood around our table with the toy clappers and sang happy birthday to me and bringing a grilled sticky AL' mode desert with a candle sticking out of it. I was quite embarrassed but I thanked the ladies and hubby , then blew out my candle. It was really funny and sweet of him. I ate the desert and we went home. Even thou it was a day early , my birthday turned out to be awesome!
Trust
Trust is a word we all hear
Trust is a word we all fear
Trust is a word we all know and come to believe
Trust is a word we all use and sooner or later we'll abuse
Trust is the one thing I just can't do
If Trust is a must, then I'm done, I'm Thur
Just no way I can see this Thur
The hope and faith that once lied in me Is no longer a vision that I can see
Trust just doesn't exist to me
Trust is like believing in fairy tales and happy endings Just isn't' something worth depending on or holding a spotlight on
Trust is like a folklore, its been told over and over
You know the words by heart but now its getting old
Trust is like a cave, looks like a good place to hide,until you find that bear that lives inside
That bear is loud, mean and hungry Just like the bear, trust will eat you up and swallow you whole
Trust like ashes on a windy day , sooner or later its going away
Can't say I ever believed it would stay, can't say i ever wished it were another way, maybe someday but not today
No vacancy here , trust find another place to stay.....
Trust is a word we all fear
Trust is a word we all know and come to believe
Trust is a word we all use and sooner or later we'll abuse
Trust is the one thing I just can't do
If Trust is a must, then I'm done, I'm Thur
Just no way I can see this Thur
The hope and faith that once lied in me Is no longer a vision that I can see
Trust just doesn't exist to me
Trust is like believing in fairy tales and happy endings Just isn't' something worth depending on or holding a spotlight on
Trust is like a folklore, its been told over and over
You know the words by heart but now its getting old
Trust is like a cave, looks like a good place to hide,until you find that bear that lives inside
That bear is loud, mean and hungry Just like the bear, trust will eat you up and swallow you whole
Trust like ashes on a windy day , sooner or later its going away
Can't say I ever believed it would stay, can't say i ever wished it were another way, maybe someday but not today
No vacancy here , trust find another place to stay.....
Hiding in the Attic
Here in the attic, I am hiding....Enjoying the silence that surrounds me.
No barking dogs, no voices that call out "mom", no angry mob shouting "feed us" and no husband to scream at me.
Just me alone in the attic...hoping that no one will find me.
The only sounds that I can hear is the echoing thunder in the distance, the rain pouring down and my thoughts dancing around. This is all that I want, and all that I need. Silence will set me free, at least until they find me.
How long will the silence belong to me? I don't' know but I guess we shall see.
Here in the attic, I am hiding.....No seeking please.
No barking dogs, no voices that call out "mom", no angry mob shouting "feed us" and no husband to scream at me.
Just me alone in the attic...hoping that no one will find me.
The only sounds that I can hear is the echoing thunder in the distance, the rain pouring down and my thoughts dancing around. This is all that I want, and all that I need. Silence will set me free, at least until they find me.
How long will the silence belong to me? I don't' know but I guess we shall see.
Here in the attic, I am hiding.....No seeking please.
Tired
I'm tired of hiding behind your shadow, I have a face and deserve to be seen.
I'm tired of whispering behind your words, I have a voice and deserve to be heard.
I'm tired of believing in fairy tales, When I'm proof they don't exist.
I'm tired of pretending that happiness is what this is, when seems only the devil himself can comprehend.
I'm tired of believing that this will end, its a passing phase that's on its last breath.I
'm tired of wondering if this is all that's left, When it feels like we still had more in store
I'm tired of whispering behind your words, I have a voice and deserve to be heard.
I'm tired of believing in fairy tales, When I'm proof they don't exist.
I'm tired of pretending that happiness is what this is, when seems only the devil himself can comprehend.
I'm tired of believing that this will end, its a passing phase that's on its last breath.I
'm tired of wondering if this is all that's left, When it feels like we still had more in store
Fear
We all have something that we fear and the need to control it.A man on a subway fears the people that surround him, the glares and stares that fall upon him.A school girl fears that she'll go one more year without getting her first kiss and all the moments she'll miss.A single mother fears she won't earn enough money to give her babies everything they want, need and deserve. If memory severs her right, she didn't choose this life. Choice was made the night he walked out on her.A Doctor fears for the child lying before him . With tears in the young lad's eyes he asked " how long will I survive?" The doctor doesn't reply . He doesn't want to lie.A young man fears his father's tone. Its loud and mean when he's done wrong; makes the boy wish he hadn't come home.A wife fears that dreaded call, call of duty. Sending her man back to the war. It was the call that torn out her heart.There are several more cases and so much more that the world fears. What I fear may be a mere mole hill to you and a mountain to me.We all have something to fear and if we don't learn to control it . Fear will take over and control us. Our fears will become who we are and all that know.
Yesterday was Someday
We always say that someday we will laugh and love so carefree...
Someday we'll be free,...... free from all the worries that take over you and me.
Someday we'll live out all our dreams...........and forget all realities.
Someday we'll be friends,....... you'll see
Someday all my fears will disappear and hope will be all that I can see.
Yesterday was Someday, Someday was yesterday
Yesterday, dreams came true. Yesterday, we laughed so carefree . Yesterday fears vanished into thin air.
Someday friends will laugh again and dream. Someday will be true.... Someday will come again soon... you'll see.
Someday we'll be free,...... free from all the worries that take over you and me.
Someday we'll live out all our dreams...........and forget all realities.
Someday we'll be friends,....... you'll see
Someday all my fears will disappear and hope will be all that I can see.
Yesterday was Someday, Someday was yesterday
Yesterday, dreams came true. Yesterday, we laughed so carefree . Yesterday fears vanished into thin air.
Someday friends will laugh again and dream. Someday will be true.... Someday will come again soon... you'll see.
Monday, August 31, 2009
In a Moment
"In a Moment"
In a moment of weakness, I hit the floor In a moment of weakness, I was almost out the door In a moment of weakness, I felt pain down to my core.
Then fate and hope walked in, hand in hand Telling me to take a stand,This could be my last chance
Last chance to dance Tears and fears sit this one out, Its time to learn what life is all about Despair and distress, you've failed the test,now sit this one out with all the rest
Romance, its all up to you, show em' what you can do Last chance to dance
In a moment of weakness, I put the past behind me. In a moment of weakness, I prayed that this was to meant to last. In a moment of weakness, I began to fall fast, into love again and that's where this story began and ends...
In a moment of weakness, I hit the floor In a moment of weakness, I was almost out the door In a moment of weakness, I felt pain down to my core.
Then fate and hope walked in, hand in hand Telling me to take a stand,This could be my last chance
Last chance to dance Tears and fears sit this one out, Its time to learn what life is all about Despair and distress, you've failed the test,now sit this one out with all the rest
Romance, its all up to you, show em' what you can do Last chance to dance
In a moment of weakness, I put the past behind me. In a moment of weakness, I prayed that this was to meant to last. In a moment of weakness, I began to fall fast, into love again and that's where this story began and ends...
Calming voice
This one was wrote for hubby.
2/19/09
"Calming Voice"
It's your voice that is most calming to me, Its your voice that can always sing to me. Better than any song I've ever heard, your words are the perfect melody. When My life is hectic and things seem to be falling apart, Its your voice that echos in my heart and brings me back to a calming start.When I'm having a bad day or things just aren't going my way, hearing you say "relax" makes it all go away. Your calming voice eases my mind and I can once again have peace of mind. I'm so glad your mine!!When the walls seem to be caving in and my world falling apart, your always there helping me not to fall apart too. I don't know what I'd ever do without you. Your the one person in this world that I know I could never live without. Your more than my rock; your the very part of me that makes me whole and I know I'd completely fall apart if I had to live without your love in my heart.
2/19/09
"Calming Voice"
It's your voice that is most calming to me, Its your voice that can always sing to me. Better than any song I've ever heard, your words are the perfect melody. When My life is hectic and things seem to be falling apart, Its your voice that echos in my heart and brings me back to a calming start.When I'm having a bad day or things just aren't going my way, hearing you say "relax" makes it all go away. Your calming voice eases my mind and I can once again have peace of mind. I'm so glad your mine!!When the walls seem to be caving in and my world falling apart, your always there helping me not to fall apart too. I don't know what I'd ever do without you. Your the one person in this world that I know I could never live without. Your more than my rock; your the very part of me that makes me whole and I know I'd completely fall apart if I had to live without your love in my heart.
Poetry
I've been writing poems since I was a teenager. Its been an outlet for that has carried me Thur both good times and hard times. When I was 16, I had my first and only poem published. I entered a poetry contest and won. My mother didn't believe that I had wrote it at first but she was surprised and said that she liked it. My only request to her was that she not ask what it meant. I'll start off with that poem.
"Violence"
"My eyes are full of hate when I look at this disgraceful place. It looks beautiful to the human eye, but its really in disguise. If there's such a thing as fate, then maybe fate can turn this world around. Where's the world headed? Maybe all the world is hell bound.
You wake up to an empty bed, and realize he's dead, the evil man took him from his sleep and left him for dead. The evil man killed him and for what reason, no reason at all. Simply because he exists. One day people will realize that he who falls will be remembered, but he who draws will be lost in time forever. For the evil man is hell bound until he turns his life around, but the good are all heaven helped.
Look at the face of an evil man, what do u see? Do you see the pain and anger of wanting to be free? Do you see the madness that rages within his face or do you see the mistreated child that lies within his soul? After all, the world is a crazy place, isn't it? Not even time can erase the pain of an evil man's face.-Ruby
Its a little disturbing but made sense to me at the time. Unfortunately I'm not quite ready to go public with what it all means. Perhaps someday, we shall see.
"Violence"
"My eyes are full of hate when I look at this disgraceful place. It looks beautiful to the human eye, but its really in disguise. If there's such a thing as fate, then maybe fate can turn this world around. Where's the world headed? Maybe all the world is hell bound.
You wake up to an empty bed, and realize he's dead, the evil man took him from his sleep and left him for dead. The evil man killed him and for what reason, no reason at all. Simply because he exists. One day people will realize that he who falls will be remembered, but he who draws will be lost in time forever. For the evil man is hell bound until he turns his life around, but the good are all heaven helped.
Look at the face of an evil man, what do u see? Do you see the pain and anger of wanting to be free? Do you see the madness that rages within his face or do you see the mistreated child that lies within his soul? After all, the world is a crazy place, isn't it? Not even time can erase the pain of an evil man's face.-Ruby
Its a little disturbing but made sense to me at the time. Unfortunately I'm not quite ready to go public with what it all means. Perhaps someday, we shall see.
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