Tonight its time I speak my mind, no more censoring, no more editing, or deleting to protect the feelings, thoughts or ideas of others. Readers beware the gloves have come off and nothing is off limits.
With so much on my mind I'm not sure where to start. This should be easy but its not. Ah just need to find my groove and uncover the mood. Time to get this ball rolling....
Lately I'm feeling out of sorts and out of touch with reality , with me and my whole damn life! Everything is spinning and spiraling out of control, just can't seem to get a grip. Its as if I'm stuck in a nightmare, hooked on some pills, and its going to be a bad trip baby. Nothing is ever as it seems. Nothings wrong yet there isn't anything right. Don't try to make sense of it, there isn't any.
For years on end I've been a people pleaser. Pleasing them , giving into them, just doing whatever the hell is needed to please them! Almost never do I take time out for me, please me , do what I need or want. I'd like to think I'm pretty damn selfless but others have called me a selfish bitch. Apparently my definition and theirs are not the same. I think 2010 is a year for change, time to please me for a change. They wont' be happy. They'll think I've gone insane but I don't care. If the mood strikes me and I want to dance in the rain, then damn it I'm going to fucking dance in the rain! If I want to wear one blue shoe and one red shoe, wake up outta bed with bedhead and head out the door.. then I want them to ignore me. This is my new fashion, my new creation and their opinions are not welcome. So while my ideas and thoughts might be a little on the bizarre side, you get the picture. I'm going to be a "Ruby Pleaser" and anyone who doesn't like it can just deal with it. I've dealt with far too much complaints, whines, grumbles and just shit! I'm a grown woman with responsibilities , good judgement, and morals, I deserve to be happy too!
Listening to music has distracted me and fizzled my mood. Fair warning thou...this isn't over , its just begun, I'll be back.....
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